Two and a Half Men

Summary

Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around.

Episodes

• Season 1

  1. S01E01: Pilot [watch now]
  2. S01E02: Big Flappy Bastards [watch now]
  3. S01E03: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell [watch now]
  4. S01E04: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap [watch now]
  5. S01E05: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump [watch now]
  6. S01E06: Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? [watch now]
  7. S01E07: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake [watch now]
  8. S01E08: Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful [watch now]
  9. S01E09: Phase One, Complete [watch now]
  10. S01E10: Merry Thanksgiving [watch now]
  11. S01E11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor [watch now]
  12. S01E12: Camel Filters + Pheromones [watch now]
  13. S01E13: Sara Like Puny Alan [watch now]
  14. S01E14: I Can't Afford Hyenas [watch now]
  15. S01E15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick [watch now]
  16. S01E16: That Was Saliva, Alan [watch now]
  17. S01E17: Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats [watch now]
  18. S01E18: An Old Flame With a New Wick [watch now]
  19. S01E19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You [watch now]
  20. S01E20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark [watch now]
  21. S01E21: No Sniffing, No Wowing [watch now]
  22. S01E22: My Doctor has a Cow Puppet [watch now]
  23. S01E23: Just Like Buffalo [watch now]
  24. S01E24: Can You Feel My Finger? [watch now]

• Season 2

  1. S02E01: Back Off Mary Poppins [watch now]
  2. S02E02: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls [watch now]
  3. S02E03: A Bag Full of Jawea [watch now]
  4. S02E04: Go Get Mommy's Bra [watch now]
  5. S02E05: Bad News from the Clinic [watch now]
  6. S02E06: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance [watch now]
  7. S02E07: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana [watch now]
  8. S02E08: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers [watch now]
  9. S02E09: Yes, Monsignor [watch now]
  10. S02E10: The Salmon Under My Sweater [watch now]
  11. S02E11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos [watch now]
  12. S02E12: A Lungful of Alan [watch now]
  13. S02E13: Get Off My Hair [watch now]
  14. S02E14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut [watch now]
  15. S02E15: Smell the Umbrella Stand [watch now]
  16. S02E16: Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? [watch now]
  17. S02E17: Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam! [watch now]
  18. S02E18: It Was Mame, Mom [watch now]
  19. S02E19: A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise [watch now]
  20. S02E20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey [watch now]
  21. S02E21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On [watch now]
  22. S02E22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother [watch now]
  23. S02E23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab [watch now]
  24. S02E24: Does This Smell Funny to You? [watch now]

• Season 3

  1. S03E01: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts [watch now]
  2. S03E02: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover [watch now]
  3. S03E03: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark [watch now]
  4. S03E04: Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs [watch now]
  5. S03E05: We Called It Mr. Pinky [watch now]
  6. S03E06: Hi, Mr. Horned One [watch now]
  7. S03E07: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop [watch now]
  8. S03E08: That Voodoo That I Do Do [watch now]
  9. S03E09: Madame and Her Special Friend [watch now]
  10. S03E10: Something Salted and Twisted [watch now]
  11. S03E11: Santa's Village of the Damned [watch now]
  12. S03E12: That Special Tug [watch now]
  13. S03E13: Humiliation is a Visual Medium [watch now]
  14. S03E14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded [watch now]
  15. S03E15: My Tongue is Meat [watch now]
  16. S03E16: Ergo, The Booty Call [watch now]
  17. S03E17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauser [watch now]
  18. S03E18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler [watch now]
  19. S03E19: Golly Moses, She's a Muffin [watch now]
  20. S03E20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro [watch now]
  21. S03E21: And the Plot Moistens [watch now]
  22. S03E22: Just Once With Aunt Sophie [watch now]
  23. S03E23: Arguments for the Quickie [watch now]
  24. S03E24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite [watch now]

• Season 4

  1. S04E01: Working for Caligula [watch now]
  2. S04E02: Who's Vod Kanockers [watch now]
  3. S04E03: The Sea is a Harsh Mistress [watch now]
  4. S04E04: A Pot Smoking Monkey [watch now]
  5. S04E05: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility [watch now]
  6. S04E06: Apologies for the Frivolity [watch now]
  7. S04E07: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head [watch now]
  8. S04E08: Release the Dogs [watch now]
  9. S04E09: Corey's Been Dead For an Hour [watch now]
  10. S04E10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln [watch now]
  11. S04E11: Walnuts and Demerol [watch now]
  12. S04E12: Castrating Sheep in Montana [watch now]
  13. S04E13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer [watch now]
  14. S04E14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami [watch now]
  15. S04E15: My Damn Stalker [watch now]
  16. S04E16: Young People Have Phlegm Too [watch now]
  17. S04E17: I Merely Slept With a Commie [watch now]
  18. S04E18: It Never Rains in Hooterville [watch now]
  19. S04E19: Smooth as a Ken Doll [watch now]
  20. S04E20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot [watch now]
  21. S04E21: Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous [watch now]
  22. S04E22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag [watch now]
  23. S04E23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin [watch now]
  24. S04E24: Prostitutes and Gelato [watch now]

• Season 5

  1. S05E01: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom [watch now]
  2. S05E02: Media Room Slash Dungeon [watch now]
  3. S05E03: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo [watch now]
  4. S05E04: City of Great Racks [watch now]
  5. S05E05: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat [watch now]
  6. S05E06: Help Daddy Find His Toenail [watch now]
  7. S05E07: The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room [watch now]
  8. S05E08: Is There a Mrs. Waffles? [watch now]
  9. S05E09: Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids [watch now]
  10. S05E10: Kinda Like Necrophilia [watch now]
  11. S05E11: Meander to Your Dander [watch now]
  12. S05E12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh [watch now]
  13. S05E13: The Soil is Moist [watch now]
  14. S05E14: Winky-Dink Time [watch now]
  15. S05E15: Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle) [watch now]
  16. S05E16: Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty [watch now]
  17. S05E17: Fish in a Drawer [watch now]
  18. S05E18: If My Hole Could Talk [watch now]
  19. S05E19: Waiting for the Right Snapper [watch now]

• Season 6

  1. S06E01: Taterhead is our Lovechild [watch now]
  2. S06E02: Pie Hole, Herb [watch now]
  3. S06E03: Damn You, Eggs Benedict [watch now]
  4. S06E04: The Flavin' and the Mavin' [watch now]
  5. S06E05: A Jock Strap in Hell [watch now]
  6. S06E06: It's Always Nazi Week [watch now]
  7. S06E07: Best H.O. Money Can Buy [watch now]
  8. S06E08: Pinocchio's Mouth [watch now]
  9. S06E09: The Mooch At The Boo [watch now]
  10. S06E10: He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited [watch now]
  11. S06E11: The Devil's Lube [watch now]
  12. S06E12: Thank God for Scoliosis [watch now]
  13. S06E13: I Think You Offended Don [watch now]
  14. S06E14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie [watch now]
  15. S06E15: I'd Like to Start With the Cat [watch now]
  16. S06E16: She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime [watch now]
  17. S06E17: The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'? [watch now]
  18. S06E18: My Son's Enormous Head [watch now]
  19. S06E19: The Two Finger Rule [watch now]
  20. S06E20: Hello, I'm Alan Cousteau [watch now]
  21. S06E21: Above Exalted Cyclops [watch now]
  22. S06E22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box [watch now]
  23. S06E23: Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth [watch now]
  24. S06E24: Baseball Was Better with Steroids [watch now]

• Season 7

  1. S07E01: 818-JKLPUZO [watch now]
  2. S07E02: Whipped Unto the Third Generation [watch now]
  3. S07E03: Mmm, Fish. Yum. [watch now]
  4. S07E04: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator [watch now]
  5. S07E05: For the Sake of the Child [watch now]
  6. S07E06: Give Me Your Thumb [watch now]
  7. S07E07: Untainted by Filth [watch now]
  8. S07E08: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. [watch now]
  9. S07E09: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair [watch now]
  10. S07E10: That's Why They Call It Ball Room [watch now]
  11. S07E11: Warning, It's Dirty [watch now]
  12. S07E12: Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste [watch now]
  13. S07E13: Yay, No Polyps! [watch now]
  14. S07E14: Crude and Uncalled For [watch now]
  15. S07E15: Aye, Aye, Captain Douche [watch now]
  16. S07E16: Tinkle Like a Princess [watch now]
  17. S07E17: I Found Your Moustache [watch now]
  18. S07E18: Ixnay on the Oggie Day [watch now]
  19. S07E19: Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave [watch now]
  20. S07E20: I Called Him Magoo [watch now]
  21. S07E21: Gumby with a Pokey [watch now]
  22. S07E22: This Is Not Gonna End Well [watch now]

• Season 8

  1. S08E01: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud [watch now]
  2. S08E02: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer [watch now]
  3. S08E03: A Pudding-Filled Cactus [watch now]
  4. S08E04: Hookers, Hookers, Hookers [watch now]
  5. S08E05: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel [watch now]
  6. S08E06: Twanging Your Magic Clanger [watch now]
  7. S08E07: The Crazy Bitch Gazette [watch now]
  8. S08E08: Springtime on a Stick [watch now]
  9. S08E09: A Good Time In Central Africa [watch now]
  10. S08E10: Ow, Ow, Don't Stop [watch now]
  11. S08E11: Dead From the Waist Down [watch now]
  12. S08E12: Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead [watch now]
  13. S08E13: Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup [watch now]
  14. S08E14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs [watch now]
  15. S08E15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak [watch now]
  16. S08E16: That Darn Priest [watch now]

• Season 9

  1. S09E01: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt [watch now]
  2. S09E02: People Who Love Peepholes [watch now]
  3. S09E03: Big Girls Don't Throw Food [watch now]
  4. S09E04: Nine Magic Fingers [watch now]
  5. S09E05: A Giant Cat Holding Churro [watch now]
  6. S09E06: The Squat and The Hover [watch now]
  7. S09E07: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets [watch now]
  8. S09E08: Thank You For The Intercourse [watch now]
  9. S09E09: Frodo's Headshots [watch now]
  10. S09E10: Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes [watch now]
  11. S09E11: A Lovely Landing Strip [watch now]
  12. S09E12: One False Move, Zimbabwe! [watch now]
  13. S09E13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion [watch now]
  14. S09E14: A Possum on Chemo [watch now]
  15. S09E15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack [watch now]
  16. S09E16: Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy [watch now]
  17. S09E17: Not In My Mouth [watch now]
  18. S09E18: The War Against Gingivitis [watch now]
  19. S09E19: Palmdale, Ech [watch now]
  20. S09E20: Grandma's Pie [watch now]
  21. S09E21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' [watch now]
  22. S09E22: Why We Gave Up Women [watch now]
  23. S09E23: The Straw In My Donut Hole [watch now]
  24. S09E24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! [watch now]